Happy Camper NOT
by LuNa6780
Summary: Ciel found himself in quite a predicament- being trapped in the restroom with Alois smiling coyly at him. All Ciel ever wanted was a shot at a normal life. The only flaw: he disguised himself as a GIRL. AU, CielxAlois.


**A/N: This is mostly for laughs, with fluff at the end. Enjoy!**

**The REAL title is: Happy Camper...NOT, but FF doesn't take periods in the title...**

**...I don't own Kuroshitsuji, so this can be counted as a complete parody for entertainment purposes. Yes, that was a disclaimer.**

**Update: I edited it because I found a few noticeable errors. Wow, it's now seven thousand words due to the A/N. **

* * *

><p>Ciel Phantomhive was not happy.<p>

Here he was, pacing back-and-forth in the men's restroom, with a short-shorts wearing _airhead _smiling coyly at him. What's worse was that, in this particular situation, the latter was trying to _hit_ on him.

The dark-haired teen definitely had a reason to not be a camper full of mirth.

"This is your entire fault, dammit!" Ciel reprimanded the only other one in the restroom they were currently locked in. His arms were tightly folded, creasing the sleeves of his blue, unbuttoned cashmere sweater, along with the torso-part of his white shirt. He pointed an accusing finger at Alois, stopping his pacing.

The so-called guilty party only shrugged, replying, "Ha, my fault? I don't see the problem. I mean, if you're a famous model, disguising himself as a _girl_, of all things, you should have at least been prepared for the consequences. The truth was bound to come out, sometime."

"I was trying to live a normal life!" Ciel retorted.

"…As what? A major PMS-ing bitch?" Alois countered, once more. He sighed. "You could have, at least, acted a little nicer to people, if you were going to disguise yourself as a girl!"

Ciel sighed, leaning against the white-tile walls of the restrooms, staring at the marble sinks. For an amusement park restroom, the restrooms sure were clean.

Correct. They were currently located, more over stranded, in the amusement park men's restroom, taking shelter from a swarm of Ciel's fans and paparazzis.

You see, Ciel was a famous model from England. Desperate to experience a normal teenage life at least once before he turned eighteen in two years, he disguised himself as a student from England, and went to attend Magnolia High School up in New Jersey. The only problem: Ciel masqueraded himself as a_ girl_. Not only that, but he altered his name into Cecilia Durlass, his last name from Ciel's aunt, Angela.

"You're the one who dragged me here," grumbled the boy, who began to pace once more. Alois followed him as he walked to-and-fro.

"Stop that. I'm getting dizzy. Besides, you're the one who didn't call the police for kidnap."

"You just _had _to see me pulling off my wig, didn't you?"

"Are you_ implying_ that it would be better if I never met you?" Alois implored, astonished that he actually knew the word implying.

Ciel seemed to read his thoughts. "Hm, I'm surprised you actually knew that the word 'implying' existed. And, maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament if you had some common sense! Or, better yet, maybe it _would_ be better if I hadn't met you!" Ciel stomped his left foot, the echo of his foot- tap resonating through the restroom. An uncomfortable silence followed after.

Alois stared at Ciel, surprised at his outburst. His face contorted from anger to hurt, and he tightly gripped the sleeve of his purple jacket. Blonde tresses covered the latter's eyes as Alois looked down.

"Fine," he said, quietly.

"Fine!" exclaimed Ciel.

Both boys sat on the cold, tile floor of the restroom, staring at the wall, each one on the opposite side, contemplating yesterday's and today's events that led to this.

**Yesterday…**

"Okay, class, settle down," a teacher calmly reprimanded his rowdy students as the bell, signaling the start of class, rang.

To no avail, though, the class ignored him.

After a few more attempts, the teacher suddenly slammed his hands down on his front desk located next to the whiteboard and yelled, "SIT. DOWN!" Except, the "sit" part of his exclamation sounded like "shit." The class broke into a fit of laughing, quieting down afterwards.

"Good. Before we start class, we have a new student today." The teacher walked up to his world map, clasped his pointer with a plastic, juicy-red apple on top, and pounded the apple onto the location of England. "She comes all the way from England."

A few guys in the back snorted, earning heated glares from a few girls.

"Perverted little son of a bit-" one girl started.

A girl wearing a band t-shirt and classic skinny jeans stepped in, her arms folded. Her dark, bluish-black hair was tied into two pigtails, swishing back-and-forth as she walked to the middle of the fairly small classroom. She looked up towards her new, fellow classmates, and said, with a deadpan face, "Hello. My name is Cie- I mean, Cecilia Phan- I mean, Durlass. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

A girl in the back whispered, "What's up with her outfit? What a tomboy."

Half of the girls in the classroom nodded in agreement.

Upon hearing this, Ciel's eye twitched, and he forced a fake smile to pretend that he didn't hear that. The teacher introduced himself as Mr. Landers. He had white hair and purple eyes, wearing a, quite formal, stark white three-piece suit. He directed Ciel to his seat, in the back of the classroom next to the window.

The teacher then turned around towards the whiteboard, and began to bombard the class with his history lesson for the next fifty minutes.

Proceeding the droning lesson, whispers erupted throughout the entire classroom.

"She should at least brush her hair."

"Ha, she's as flat as a board!"

"Actually, I think she's kind of cute- OW! Hey, why'd you throw that pencil at me?"

"I'm YOUR girlfriend, you dumbass!"

As the whispering continued Ciel closed his eyes and laid his head on his desk, trying to drown out all of the annoying whispering. He failed to notice a blonde boy prance up to his desk, nearly literally, and greet him.

"Hey! My name is Alois Trancy. Nice to meet ya!" He stared at Ciel, whose head was still lingering on the creaking desk. "Um…Hello?"

"Hey, Alois, what're you doing?" asked a girl, with golden-tresses tied up into two tornado-shaped pigtails. She eyed Ciel with a scrutinizing look.

"I'm fraternizing with the new girl, of course," replied Alois, with a cheery smile.

"Fraternizing? Whoa, your English teacher must be brainwashing you. But…it doesn't look like she heard you." Elizabeth then proceeded to slap Ciel on the back with her right hand, making Ciel bolt from his seat, surprised. He eyed both blondes with a weary, confused look.

"Hey! My name's Elizabeth, but you can call me 'Lizzie.' Oh, do you like sweets? We should go to that sweet shop next to the park, later! Hey, you're from England, right? That's so cool! I used to live in England, too! Uwaaaah, your jeans are so cute! Want to try on my necklace? It'll match with your shirt so well! We should go to the mall later, so we can buy you some cute clothes to match your pretty sapphire eyes! And then…" Ciel looked at Elizabeth, baffled with her constant babbling. Her emerald eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth. She seemed so familiar, especially the name…

"…So, what's your favorite color? Mine is pink! Hello? Cecilia?" Elizabeth started to wave at him, attempting to get his attention.

Ciel then remembered that _he_ was Cecilia, and that he was _supposed_ to be a _she_. "Hm? Oh! Um, blue…" Ciel answered. "Hey, should you really be out of your seat while the teacher is talking? He might notice, and give you detention…"

"What? Oh! Mr. Landers doesn't care. He hates his job, and never turns around to ask the class a question because he wants to speed through the lesson, to get it over with. See? Everyone is out of their seats." She pointed to a group of guys who were participating in a round of strip-rock-paper-scissors.

"Oh, okay…"

"You know, you look a lot like my cousin, Ciel!" Ciel's ears perked up in alarm.

Then that means my hunch was correct, Ciel thought. She looked familiar because she's my cousin, Elizabeth. I remember, now. She moved to America, years ago. She attends this kind of school…?

Well, he definitely didn't see that coming.

Elizabeth continued. "You know that model- Ciel Phantomhive? Well, he's actually my cousin! No one believes me, though… Oh! I think I have a picture of us, together, in my wallet!" Elizabeth scrambled to her desk to retrieve her wallet.

"Hey, no fair, Elizabeth!" Alois interrupted, pouting. "You're keeping the cute, new kid all to yourself!" He turned to Ciel, and introduced himself with a flirty smile. "I'm Alois! Nice to meet'cha!"

"Oh, hey…" "Cecilia" stared at Alois's attire with a "what the hell" face. It consisted of a purple cardigan and a green flannel shirt, with…booty shorts? He turned away, embarrassed when he realized he was staring, and looked through the window. He saw a man chasing his dog, who appeared to be off of its leash, and rammed directly into a scarlet fire hydrant in his, well, it must have hurt.

Alois had noticed Ciel gawking at him, and smirked triumphantly. "Sexy, right?" He flexed his left leg in pride.

Ciel's head snapped back to his fellow classmate. "Um…sure…"

Elizabeth strolled back to Ciel's desk with a dejected look on her face that said "I wasn't able to find the photo."

"So, do you wanna go out later? On a date?" Alois asked in a husky, sensual voice.

Ciel's eye twitched in annoyance. He was not impressed _at all_. "I'll have you know that I'm a gu-" once he realized that he was about to reveal himself, he quickly covered, "That I'm, uh, gu…guh-rately (greatly) busy… later."

"Oh, really? Doing what?"

Ciel's mind was like a car key. On the remote, there was the "unlock" button, which meant socializing with other people, the "lock" button, which signified him smart-assing people and usually acting cold towards them, and then there was the "panic" button, which took the word literally. Right now, he was on "panic."

He should have taken Aunt Angelina's advice to practice, and bear in mind that he was _supposed_ to be a_ girl_.

"What _am_ I doing, indeed," Ciel whispered to himself. "Haha, w-well… I'm," he looked towards Elizabeth, who was curious as well, "I'm going to the mall! With…Lizzie…" He gestured towards Elizabeth, begging with his eyes to confirm it.

Elizabeth grinned. "Really? Yay! Oh, we can go to _Forever XXI_, and buy you a ton of necklaces, and some cute skirts, then, we can go to _Coach_ and get you the cutest sunglasses, and then we can go get your ears pierced! Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

"Oh, okay," Alois replied bitterly, glaring at Elizabeth for stealing his would-be date.

All of a sudden, cheers erupted in the corner of the class. One guy who was playing strip-rock-paper-scissors had announced the prize, rallying the boys to try even harder, however they were going to do that with this game of luck. Ciel could have _sworn_ that he saw a bottle of vodka, with the guys staring dreamily at it. The girls sighed.

Just as one guy was about to take off his last piece of clothing, the bell rang, saving the girls from burning their eyes.

**OoOoOoO**

During lunch time, Ciel was about to take a seat in the empty lunch table by the trash cans, when Alois called his name.

"Hey! Cecilia! Over here!" Alois waved frantically at Ciel, gesturing him to his table, in the sun.

Ciel sighed, not wanting to gain any attention, and walked over to his table, taking a seat. "Hey…"

Elizabeth smiled. She was also sitting with Alois, along with a scarlet-haired guy, another male with striking red eyes, a girl with auburn hair and chocolate eyes, a boy with tan skin and purple hair, and another tan-skinned male with white hair.

"Hi! Glad you could sit with us," said Alois. He pointed at the red-haired boy, saying, "That's Grell."

Grell winked, a big, toothy grin spreading on his face.

Alois then pointed to the red-haired boy, "That's Sebastian." Ciel could hear resentment in Alois's voice as Sebastian bowed.

"Hello," Sebastian said in a smooth voice, smiling.

"Lay off, Sebastian, I claim her."

"Hm. I am astonished that you know of the word claim. Has your English teacher succeeded and brainwashed you?" Sebastian taunted.

Déjà vu, Ciel thought.

"Hey, that's what I said!" Elizabeth exclaimed while laughing. She was currently stuffing her face in blueberry pie. "Man, Sebastian! This pie is delicious!" Blueberries oozed invitingly out of the pie slice.

"Shut up, Sebastian. And who bows, these days?"

"Hey, you can't speak to my Sebby darling like that!" yelled Grell. He stood up from his seat, frowning.

Ciel felt pressure on his shoulder and turned around to see Elizabeth looking at him. "It's best if you don't get involved with them, while they're fighting, Cecilia. Oh, by the way," she pointed to the auburn-haired girl, "that's Paula," she pointed to the tan boy with purple hair, "That's Sohma," then the boy with white hair, "and that's Agni."

All three of them waved at "Cecilia."

"Sohma is a junior, like us, and Paula, Agni, Grell, and Sebastian are seniors," informed Elizabeth. Ciel nodded.

"And besides, why would you even go after Cecilia? You already have every other girl after you!" Alois retorted at Sebastian.

Hearing his pseudonym, Ciel turned to the bickering trio.

"Her eyes shine like sapphires," Sebastian said. Ciel blushed. "She seems…delicate."

Ciel did not know if he should be offended, or flattered. On one hand, he was actually a guy, but on the other hand, his suave voice would make any girl's heart melt. Well, if he was a girl.

"Sebby~!" Grell complained. He was not happy that "his man" was complimenting another person.

"Cecilia" felt a headache approaching, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm," he interrupted, causing the trio to looks towards him, "going to take a seat under that tree." He pointed to the tree in the field, on the other side of the cafeteria. Elizabeth opened her mouth to accompany him, but he quickly cut in, "Alone."

Ciel grabbed the water bottle on his tray, stood up from his seat, threw the try in the trash can, and began strolling towards the shady tree. It was quite hot, and his scalp was becoming itchy under his wig. As soon as he arrived at his destination, Ciel looked around, noticing no one was there, walked behind the tree in an attempt to be away from sight, and began to pull off his wig.

He sighed. "Living a normal life seems so… challenging." Ciel had a hard time pulling off his wig- the garter around the net cap was tangled in his actual hair's silky bangs. He cursed every profanity he knew, some even in French, wincing at the pain the tangles brought.

"Merde!" he cursed in French. He gripped a fistful of lush grass, in pain. He could have sworn he heard chuckling. Okay, so, maybe it was illegal to use profanities on school grounds, but cursing in French would not count, right? Just as long as no one understood it…

Suddenly, he heard the grass crumble under someone's footsteps, and a familiar voice call out, "Hey! Cecilia!"

Oh, shit, Ciel thought. It was Alois.

In vain, Ciel tried to jam the wig back on. He looked around, trying to find some place to hide. The only other place he could hide was up in the tree. Which meant he had to _climb_. The last time he went rock climbing, he broke his leg and bruised a few ribs. And that time, there was actually a carabineer attached to a rope to prevent his nasty fall. He had two options: scale the tree, and possibly break his legs and maybe an arm, or tell Alois the truth.

Alois ran around the tree, not in the least expecting one of the biggest shockers of his _life_. He arrived just in time to see "Cecilia" pulling off her wig!

Holy. Shit.

So much for risking a leg to climb the damn tree.

"What the fu- shit! You're…! You're…! You're a guy!" Alois yelled. Shock pooled in his crystal eyes. He pointed at Ciel, with confusion.

Panic mode set in once more. Hoping that no one Alois outburst, he scrambled to the latter, grabbed him by the collar, and dragged him behind the tree, where they were hidden by the shade and leaves.

"All right, shut up! Yes, I'm a guy, okay?" Alois was still shrieking, so Ciel jammed the palm of his hand to cover the blonde's mouth.

Alois ripped Ciel's hand off of his face. "Mmmph! What the hell…Wait, I've seen you before! You're Ciel Phantomhive, that model that those chicks are constantly drooling over! What the _hell_ are you doing here? Dressed as a _girl_?"

"Okay, okay. Yes, I AM Ciel Phantomive. I wanted to try living a normal life, for once, without all of the paparazzis and fans hounding me. So, I moved in with my aunt, found a disguise, and came here. Okay?"

"…All right, I give you that, but… your disguise was a _girl_? Couldn't you have, oh, I don't know, dyed your hair, or got a wig, and maybe some glasses?"

"…My aunt would do anything for a niece…" Ciel shuddered. "Just…just don't tell anyone, okay? Think of it as…something Sebastian doesn't know." If Ciel didn't feel Alois's delirious aura somehow rubbing off on him, he would have said that he heard chuckling once more.

Alois's smile widened and his eyes grew the size of saucers. "Something Sebastian _doesn't know_, for once? Finally! He's like a computer, always getting A+'s and stuff." Alois felt a chill go up his spine, like someone was burning holes in the back of his head.

Ciel nodded, and Alois grew excited. "You can count on me…Cecilia!"

"Who…?" Ciel questioned.

"You! Remember? It's your fake name."

"…Oh, _right_…" Ciel _really_ needed to remember that.

Suddenly, both males heard Elizabeth calling out their names. "Cecilia! Alois! Where are you?"

Ciel and Alois turned to each other, doomed. "Shit," they both stated.

Ah, shit, indeed.

"Go stall Elizabeth while I try to jam this wig back on!" Ciel shooed Alois away as the perky blonde nodded. As he tried to pull his bangs out of the wig, he listened in on their conversation.

"Hey, Elizabeth!" greeted Alois.

"Oh, hey, Alois. Have you seen Cecilia? I'm looking for her so I can tell her that Paula and Meyrin are going shopping with us."

"Oh! He-she went to the restroom!" lied Alois. As Alois finished up his alibi, Ciel finally succeeded in practically ripping his bangs out of his wig, much to his now throbbing scalp's dismay, and placed his wig back on. "You know, he, I...I mean she, wanted to…um…fix his-HER! Hair…"

Now, that was just _splendid_. Not only did Ciel have to sneak to the front of the girl's restroom and look like he was just exiting, but he also had to mess up the hair-do that Aunt Angelina spent hours perfecting. …Yippee… Oh, he was going to have to face Aunt Angelina's wrath when he got home.

"O…kay… Hey, are you okay today?" Elizabeth implored.

"Yes, _Elizardbeth_, I'm fine."

Ciel began to sneak behind Elizabeth, towards the girl's restroom. He gestured for Alois to keep stalling Lizzie while he journeyed to the one room he told his aunt he would never enter in his life.

The grass let out crumpling groans in protest as Ciel stomped on the luscious organisms by the dozen. A few more yards, and he would arrive at his desired destination.

"Oh…well… okay. I'm going to go find Cecilia now." The speaker made a motion to gyrate 180 degrees, in the direction of the restrooms. Alois began to panic.

"Wait! I, uh, how's… How's Hannah doing?" Alois asked.

"After that event in which you gouged her eye out? I… don't really think you have a privilege to ask…"

"That was years ago! I'm sure she forgives me, now…"

When Alois was yet to be a teenager, he had babysitter. That babysitter was Hannah, a beautiful young woman with long, silvery hair and sun-kissed skin. Now, bear in mind that Alois was quite the temperamental one, back before he had a psychiatrist.

Let's just articulate- it did not go well one morning when Hannah made a mistake while serving the adolescent one breakfast, which ended in the server losing an eye.

Ciel finally made it to the door of the girl's restroom, (he would never enter, even if it was empty) untied the artificial pig-tails, and signaled to Alois that it was okay to stop stalling her.

"All right, well, I'm going to go catch up to Cecilia, now. Bye!" said Elizabeth, waving. She suddenly stopped in her tracks, and giggled into her palm. "Oh, it seems that Cecilia has…company, already."

"What?" Alois turned to see who was approaching Ciel, and began fuming.

Ciel sighed. That was a close shave. He began to speculate all of the outcomes if Elizabeth found out that Cecilia was actually Ciel in disguise.

**-Elizabeth would squeal, hug her cousin, whom she has not contacted for quite some time, to death, and promise she wouldn't tell. That one didn't seem so bad.**

**-Same as the first, except that she might tell her mother. He wouldn't want that happening; her mother was so strict. He wouldn't want to be reprimanded for cross-dressing, by the intimidating woman.**

**-Elizabeth is babbling on and on, the secret might come up in a conversation. People might doubt, but there would be at least one person to believe her.**

**-Elizabeth would begin jumping up and down, exclaiming she wouldn't tell, and end up trampling a turtle, breaking the shell and end up being mobbed by people, thrown into jail, bargaining to get out by telling the headmaster that Ciel was a girl, and- now, that was just ridiculous.**

Thus, Ciel concluded, he would not tell. In three out of the four outcomes, the results ended up being negative. Save for the last one, which did not make sense at all.

…It was still a two-to-one ratio…

"Ah, hello, Ms. Durlass," came a suave voice. Ciel froze, and quickly spun around to see Sebastian smirking at the boy.

Sebastian leaned in, and peered at Ciel's face. He could hear the rhythm of Sebastian's even breaths, the breezy exhalations cooling his heated-up face. Ciel began to blush wildly, quickly scrambling back.

"Hm, so my hunch was correct… And it's a shame to have such a beautiful eye covered by such a shade that does not even compare to your sapphire eye," said Sebastian.

Ciel's eyes widened. He couldn't know about… That was the closest color they had, dammit! Ciel thought. He narrowed his eyes. "What are implying?"

Sebastian smiled, and pointed to his left eye. "This," he grabbed a hold of Ciel's chin with his left hand and lifted it, "is a colored contact lens." Still holding Ciel's chin up, he brought up his right hand, placed his index finger and thumb around his left eye, and forced the contact out, popping it into the palm of Sebastian's hand.

Ciel gaped at him. "How… did you know?"

"That's a lovely eye color," he said, referring to Ciel's left eye, which was a bit duller than Ciel's right eye, with a beautiful tint of purple.

"Your eye color in both eyes was not the same, Ms. Durlass. Or should I say…Mr. Phantomhive." Sebastian smirked.

"What…What are you talking about, Sebastian? Hahaha…"

"Ah, do not fret. I know about your little secret. In fact, I've known since you first approached Alois. Your eyes tell it all, for no one can replicate the sapphire orbs of Ciel Phantomhive. I've wanted to meet you, in fact." Ciel looked at Sebastian, puzzled. "And…you did not look around for others well enough while you were pulling off your wig." A devilish smile grazed his face.

The sneaky bastard.

Well, so much for Alois having one brownie point against Sebastian.

"Where were you hiding? Up in that tree?" Ciel mumbled sardonically. A few girls walked by the pair and giggled upon seeing Sebastian.

"Perhaps. Well, I must go now, for the bell signaling class to start should be ringing about," he glanced down at his watch, "…Now."

Ring!

All right, Ciel admitted, that was just…_creepy_.

Sebastian smiled, as if reading the spooked boy's thoughts. He dug around in his black pants to pull out a piece of paper with his number on it, and handed it to Ciel, who took it with confusion. He also handed Ciel back his contact lens.

"If you ever stumble upon any dilemmas, feel free to alert me. And, do not worry; your secret is safe with me…"

Ciel was about to nod and thank the older one, but when he looked up from the piece of paper, he was gone. Ciel sighed, and began walking towards his next class, when Alois angrily stormed into him, arms crossed. Not wanting Alois to see his left eye, he hastily covered it with his bangs.

"Why the fuck were you talking to that bastard?" said blonde questioned in a cantankerous voice.

"Well, he…" Ciel was about to answer, when he realized that Alois would most definitely not be a happy camper once he found out that Sebastian already figured out that Ciel was a boy. Technically, Sebastian found out first. Oh, he would definitely not tell… "He was just talking to me about the day…"

"Oh, really?" Alois was skeptic. He raised an eyebrow. "And just _what_ about the fucking day, huh?"

"It's…hot?"

Just as Alois was about to cuss the rice out of rice balls, which was something, because rice balls are almost completely composed of rice (rice was in the name, for Christ's sake!) a teacher advanced to them, interrupting the conversation between the duo.

"Get to class, young man, _Alois_." He glared at Alois, who glared back. Ciel swears to his sapphire eyes that he saw the teacher push his black, square glasses up with his _middle finger_.

The three parted their ways, leaving a bad aura in Ciel.

Fast forward: Ciel was about to leave campus when the blonde, who was about to bitch at him before he was saved by that teacher, who was actually his last period teacher Mr. Spears, tackled him. By that time, Ciel had succeeded in reapplying his contact lens.

"Ciel!" a pair of arms snaked its way around Ciel's waist, squeezing the life out of him. Both Alois and Ciel collapsed onto the pavement, with Alois still tightly embracing Ciel.

Alois's blonde locks cascaded down onto Ciel's chin.

Wow, his "fuck off, or you get bitched at until you get a coma from the words literally punching you in the face" mood dissipated quickly. He was now grinning at the flabbergasted boy-disguised-as-a-girl.

"Get off of me, dammit!"

And that, my friends, is how it all started- with one exclamation.

No, not that one, this one- "Let's go to the amusement park, tomorrow!"

**Present time…**

Since they were conspicuously stuck in the bathroom for who knows how long, Ciel closed his eyes, and exhaled, in an effort to calm his nerves.

Long story short: the reason they ended up in the bathroom was, after they rode the ferris wheel, a toddler advanced to Ciel, who was disguised as "Cecilia," and pulled his wig right off. It's funnier than it sounds. Anyway, a horde of Ciel's fans began to hound the two of them, somehow the paparazzi found out, and they ran to the nearest building they could find: the men's restroom. Luckily, no one was inside.

Suddenly, Ciel heard someone whimpering, and turned around to see Alois on the verge of tears. Ciel sighed, and got up, walking to the boy.

"I'm sorry…" he muttered in an almost inaudible voice.

Alois turned around, to see Ciel gazing at him with a sympathetic look. "Wh-what?" he stuttered.

Ciel frowned. He was not used to apologizing. "I'm sorry," he said, a bit louder.

"Wha-"

"GOD DAMMIT, I'm SORRY, and I DIDN'T MEAN what I said, OKAY?" Ciel bellowed. "Do you enjoy tormenting me?"

Alois backed up to the wall, surprised. "What? I just couldn't hear you…"

Ciel blushed. He turned around and paced to the other side, arms crossed. "W-well, I'm not repeating it again, so you can settle for whatever you couldn't hear."

"Nope, I heard it clearly. I wish I could have recorded it, though."

Ciel's blush grew akin to the pigment of a rose. "I, um…what? Sh-shut up!"

He then heard some sniffles, and saw Alois crying once more. The blonde was swiping his nose across his purple sleeve.

Ciel began to panic. "What…what the hell? I already said sorry! I'm sorry, okay?"

Alois laughed. "N-no… it's not that. You're my first _real _friend. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but…this was probably my first time hanging out with a sincere friend, too."

Ciel's eye widened. He felt his ears heat up, and his heartbeat quicken.

"And…" he opened his closed left hand, and revealed his phone. "This time, I caught it on tape."

Well, that certainly ruined the romantic mood. Not that Ciel would ever admit that, though.

"Why you little…" Ciel darted for Alois's phone, but ended up missing. Alois stood up, holding the phone, higher than Ciel's grasp. "Hey!" He reached for the taller one's phone, but to no avail, he could not reach it.

Alois winked.

Ciel's cheeks puffed, and he turned around to face the wall. He looked up to see a…window?

Ah, salvation!

"Hey, look! A window!" Ciel exclaimed. Surely, the reporters and such were barreled at the front entrance. They would never suspect for the pair to sneak out of the back.

Alois and Ciel scrambled to the window. It was a head taller than both of them, but Ciel could reach it with his arms outstretched. That was exactly what he did; he brought his hands over to the rusty lock, hastily pried it apart, and pushed open the window.

"One of use can help each other to the top," Alois stated, squinting at the sun, which was glowing brightly at them.

"But then…how would we be able to get out? It could be dangerous; we don't know the height of the window. We would, most likely, fall on our heads."

"Dammit. So, now what?"

"We need someone to be on the other side, ready to catch us."

"Who?"

Ciel thought for a moment. There were only two people who knew that Ciel was temporarily attending school here… as the opposite gender. There was Aunt Angelina, but she was most likely at work, treating ill patients and such. So…the only other person who knew that Ciel was Cecilia was… "Sebastian," he whispered.

Alois's blood turned cold. "Excuse me, but could you repeat that?"

Ciel was reluctant, but nonetheless, "Sebastian can help us. He knows."

"...He. Fucking. Knows," Alois stated. His knuckles turned white as he tightly gripped the rim of his dark shorts.

"Well, yeah. Listen, I didn't tell him. He was spying-"

"He was WHAT?" Alois exclaimed. Alois proceeded to begin a long rant about how, quote: "fucked up" that was. At some point, he had begun pacing in a never-ending circle.

Ciel simply rolled his eyes and pulled out his cell phone, where Sebastian's number had been registered, after his aunt forced him to.

When he came home from an exhausting day at the mall, his aunt had bombarded him with thousands of questions about school. He blushed when she asked if someone had given him their number. He, of course, adamantly refused, but the piece of paper that fell from his pocket said otherwise.

After a few rings, Sebastian finally picked up the phone. "_Hello_?"

"Sebastian."

"_Ah, you called. Based on the live news that is displaying on my television right now, you are in quite a dilemma_."

"Yeah… Listen, I need you to come here and help us out. There's a window around the back, and Alois and I need someone on the other side to make sure we don't fall on out heads."

Sebastian chuckled into the speaker. "_In other words, catch you_."

"…Yeah. We're in-"

"_I know where you are. I shall be arriving there shortly_."

"Okay, bye…"

Ciel hung up, before Sebastian could respond. He saw Alois still ranting on and on.

"What did he do? Hide in that tree while you were taking off your wig?" Alois babbled. He'd be surprised on how eerily accurate that prediction was.

"Alois, he's-"

"And another thing, I saw him leaning in on you next to the-"

"Alois-"

"What-"

"ALOIS!" Alois promptly shut up after Ciel yelled his name. "Sebastian is on his way here to help us out sneak out."

"Wait, WHAT?"

"Listen, I don't see the big deal-"

"He stole it! He stole EVERYTHING from me!" Alois exclaimed. Tears began to leak out the corner of his eyes. "And now, he's gonna steal you, too…"

Ciel stared at Alois. A blank look grazed his face, which turned into a smile. "Listen, I'm not going anywhere. We're friends, right?"

Alois looked intently at Ciel, and then lifted two hands to cup his face. "Do you promise?"

"Alois, what are you-"

Alois abruptly cut him off with a chaste kiss to the lips.

Ciel felt his face heat up.

As soon as it initiated, it ended. Alois smiled and gently broke off. Ciel looked at him with half lidded eyes.

"…In Europe, that counts as a greeting," stated Alois.

Ciel was silent. "…"

"But, in America, that counts as a sign of affection."

If it was possible, Ciel's blush grew. He coughed. "…So, you wouldn't mind if I greeted Sebastian that way?"

"W-wait, what?"

"Hello?" Sebastian's voice resonated through the building.

"Oh, hey, Sebastian!" Ciel exclaimed, scuttling to the window. He smirked at Alois.

Alois blushed. "Wha…WAIT UP!"

_**~Fin~**_

**Bonus Ending:**

The following week, Ciel and Alois were walking to school together. They entered history class, bickering.

"Aw, come on, it was a sign of affection!" Alois exclaimed. "It's what couples dooooo~!"

Ciel's eyebrow twitched. "I don't think _groping _me, in the _ass_ of all things, counts!"

"So, then, you don't mind me showing you signs of affection in public?"

Ciel's eyes grew wide. "You wouldn't." He crossed his arms, "We're not even dating!"

"Hey, everyone, look at my new _girlfriend_, Cecilia!"

"Shut up, you twat! We're not dating!"

_Yet_, Ciel added in his mind. Alois didn't mind; he knew that Ciel would come around, sometime.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: All right, I know how there are a LOT of plotholes, so if you're curious about something, just ask me and I will correct the story. As I mentioned in the summary, there will be relevant chapters, most of them explaining some things. Most will include fluffly (fluffy and lovely put together, haha) CielxAlois, but some will just be straight out humor, maybe some drama. A majority (I'm only making a few more chapters) of them will be what I couldn't include in the story because it became sixteen pages in Microsoft Word, like: "Cecilia's" day at the mall with Elizabeth, Meyrin, and Paula (with a strange twist), Alois's and Ciel's day at the amusement park (fluff), an epilogue (maybe), and the scene where Sebastian was spying on Ciel up in the tree (more detailed, with Sebastian's reaction).**

**Hold up, **THIS ONE'S IMPORTANT**: The truth about Ciel being Cecilia did not, in fact, come out. It was just, "what? That famous model is here with a mystery person?" kind of thing.**

**Oh, yeah, **this was the MAIN story/(TECHINCAL!) oneshot**. Sorry, I forgot to say that. XD But if I think of an epilogue, I will put it here. I can't really say that there will be a one shot, since there are to-be chapters after this.**

**I felt that it was necessary to include Paula, who hangs out with Elizabeth, because they are very close. Meyrin, Bard, and Finny weren't included because...well, I don't know. It slipped my mind, sorry...**

**Mr. Landers= Evil Ash, so there weren't any OC's. Also, at first, the teachers were an OC's, and girls, so, if you saw "she" when it was supposed to be "he," please tell me. I tried my best to correct it. **

**Merde= Shit (In French) Please correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Also, I don't know about you, but for all school where I live, it's illegal to shout profanities on school campus. Well, if they catch you. XD I'm pretty sure my history teacher told me that that's in the law, which explains a lot when you get detentnion for cussing. But, it totally puts a damper on the whole "freedom of speech" thing, right?**

**Did I pace the romance too fast? I mean, they're not dating, yet. I know that they were really OOC, but, it's hard to put them in character... Besides, this story was just written so I could work towards being a beta-reader. My teacher totally brainwashed me, so now I'm a grammar/English junkie. Woohoo! I'm not called "the walking dictionary" for nothing.**

**P.S. It will take me forever to update, because I'm a slow updater. This took me a whole week to finish, and I worked on it more than three hours a day...**

**Please review, or favorite, or not anything of the former or latter. But trust me, I've tried keeping tabs with a story without alerting, or favoriting, and the next thing I knew, I was five chapters behind. XD And, for those anonymous people out there, who don't have accounts, you can still review. :3 **

**Thanks for reading! **


End file.
